Diane's pregnant.

I've used that phrase in mixed company a few times over the past 2 weeks. It's usually welcomed with shouts and joy and that has felt wonderful.

I haven't said it here because I wanted to tell my parents and my brother's family face to face over the holidays.

Diane has already posted on the details of how we found out here. Read it and you'll probably agree... that kind of thing happens to us all the time. Sometimes my life feels like a punchline... in a good way.

By the way, this is the post I wanted to follow up in regards to the one on faith awhile back.

This child was not planned by us but regardless, it was planned by God. At least that's what we have faith in.

We also have faith that this child is something special, he/she is coming to do something very specific and special for God. That may be something big or small in our eyes but we believe that it is something big in God's eyes. We may get to see it or maybe not. But God will see it.

We have faith that the conception of this child is a miracle - a very supernatural act of God. This just doesn't happen without His hand.

This is what I posted about a week and a half ago, 3 days after we found out kid #4 was on the way:

I can cruise along with my faith in God - He's there, no problem - but then something bad happens, a friend hurts me, I lose my job, I'm stricken with a disease, my kid is stricken with a disease... in other words life all the sudden becomes rough and uncertain.

Do I still believe that God is in control? Do I believe that God is possibly at work for good in these bad things? Do I cry out to God first or muster my strength to deal with these things?

This phrase comes to mind:Faith isn't faith until it's all you've got.

I just noticed how often I used the word "bad" in that sentence. That may give you some insight into my state of mind at the time.

This kind of thing isn't as easy as flipping telephone poles or running a marathon.

From the beginning I had faith in all the things I stated above. Just ask Larry. But by about day 3, I looked in the mirror in the midst of brushing my teeth and said, "God please help me believe my own press."

This faith is hard. We're facing 7 months of Diane being pregnant (we're already 2 months into it!), a disrupted life, big life plans being scrapped, more sleepless nights, figuring out where everyone will sleep... you get the idea.

Everything has changed. It changed with two words that took less than 2 seconds to say...

"I'm pregnant."

I've never felt so much at the mercy of God than I do now. I have a feeling of awe, joy, and fear all at the same time continuously. I've never felt anything like it.

By the way we're already picking out names. We're already assuming this will be boy #4. Why not? Leading name so far? Dawson MacQueen Pauli.